Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
