Say something about gay babies.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
