she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
