is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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