***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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