took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Randomize
