too bad you live with your parents still
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
