Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You need Xanax blowdarts
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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