i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My life is pants optional.
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