i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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