Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
