My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
