The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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