I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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