i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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