If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
