Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
