Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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