you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
