I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
