no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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