So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
