sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
