I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
