Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
