that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
