my vag is so smooth its legendary
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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