I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
