I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
