I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
