he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
