He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
