Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
