I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
