I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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