HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize