Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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