Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
where are my eyebrows?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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