so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
