i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
