So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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