i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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