I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
