What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
