If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
