you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
