I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
