girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
