At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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