Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
