Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
