Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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